So in order to combat the harmful stereotypying of our people, try to compliment us without the caveat! It’s assumed that that everyone belonging to that group thinks and behaves the same way, but that is never – – the case.When getting to know a black woman, don’t ask them to be the authority on black culture.Microaggressions are comments or actions that unintentionally alienate or demean a marginalized person or group.
These are harmful stereotypes that will not only make your black partner uncomfortable, they will further marginalize them.You should want to date a person because you like who they are and have compatible views and interests, not because their race is the next thing to do on your bucket list or because you were enthralled by their “exotic ways” (honestly, are you doing an anthropological study on black culture? If you answered no to these questions and you think those assumptions on black womanhood are downright absurd (hint: they are), then perhaps you are well on your way to showing a black woman that you want to date a complete person and not a stereotype!I wish I could say that I’m surprised and appalled by the ignorance that white men tend to show when they approach me, but I’ve come to expect it.While white men are not the only group to hold racial biases and stereotypes against black women, they tend to be the least informed on the racialized and gendered issues that black women endure.While it may be hard for two people from widely different intersections of race and gender to understand each other, it’s not impossible once the more privileged party (in this case, the white guy) is able to recognize their shortcomings and how the intersections of race and gender affect every aspect of a black woman’s life.
A white man must be willing to work toward a better understanding of how race and gender intersect differently for everyone, and he must also be prepared to speak out against the injustices that their partners will endure.Don’t ask us “Why do black people like or do _____?” You can’t expect one person to know all things black culture.So, as you’re getting to know this woman, be sure to keep the following in mind: Race is going to come up in any interracial coupling, but These are perfect examples of microaggressions.When you compliment a black woman in this way, you are implying that we are exceptions to the rule — the rule being that that black women are not attractive, intelligent, or posses any other positive attributes.We’ve recently offered suggestions on how people of color can approach their white partner on the issue of race.