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It was the best gift I could have allowed myself to receive. He has been to detox 3 or 4 times, meetings, jail and rehab.I am not sure he has ever made it a year clean but, he always goes back.

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It’s important to remember your dreams and So, let’s agree that we are not going to focus on staying or leaving because we both know that it’s just not that simple.My highest priority is taking care of our children and raising them to be healthy which, of course, means becoming healthier myself. Last night we talked for a good hour and he basically said that he does not want to stop drinking and that I need to decide if I want to stay married to him that I would have to accept his drinking and not nag him cause it causes him anxiety and stress. Today I found him bitter, angry and severely depressed after him drinking 6 beers while I was at work. A part of me thinks I should leave and the other part of me wants to stay. if someone will leave you because your an addict or if you will leave someone because they are an addict then there was never love, just lust. but the addict did not choose to addicted I have been married for over 9 years to an opiate addict.Kyzcy Hawk ‘s recent blog post led me here and I am so glad. You are volunteering, growing spiritually, and taking responsibility for your actions. We fight constantly, we fight about our pasts and his affairs. Ive been on both sides amazingly and addiction can actually be a good thing to make your 2 halves a whole. He was not an addict when we married or when we had our son.We got engaged and I thought the heavy drinking would slow when we married and I moved to the farm, with intentions to buy it and provide for his family. Eventually, I learned to see the codependency in his family and we moved, after eight years, a few miles away. I have spent hours in counseling and attend Al-Anon meetings. I would love to send you my program FOR FREE called Love Over Addiction. Look at how something that seemed so bad turned out to be a blessing. I didn’t even know he was addicted to anything, After a couple weeks of seeing him, he told me of his past. He gets away from work today and you would think he would hurry home to me, but nope, he went and bought crack and got high. i work my butt of for it and I can’t have it because he spends alot of money on crack. (He works in the business) but we barely save anything because he spends about 0.00 -0.00 everytime he goes. My father was an alcoholic and I couldn’t stand that.. To me a disease is something that just happens to you beyond your control.I am finishing a college course on alcohol and other addictions. It has every tool, technique and helpful tip I learned in therapy, al anon, research and meeting with top rehabilitation facilities. Michelle Lisa Anderson Michelle, I’d very much like to read/listen/learn your work. I am taking the semester off of class to clarify some financial things and work out aid details. He also told me that he would NEVER let himself get back into his addiction again, I was so Naive to the drug world that I believed him. Now he is angry with me because “I have an attitude”. I grew up in an unstable home becuase of my father and now I have to deal with my husband’s addiction. Addiction to alcohol or drugs is a choice that they made. I suggest that you speak with an addictions counselor to sort out your feelings and to create a plan.I stay busy doing all myhousework,looking after my children’s needs and this experience has got me growing spiritually -so i am involved in community work and church activities—Anything I am doing wrong? our marital relationship is not repaired- simply because once he is out of rehab- he does not go through the 12 steps prog that involve ‘making good with those we hurt”- so I can’t force him n just focus on seeing my children heal so that their future is not scarred by all they have had to see n endure- Have no questions just want to say I AM THERE FOR EACH ONE GOING THROUGH THIS and praying that each one will see that day when all the advise given to codependents will not just be advise but will be a truth we can work through and find peace for ourselves.